When someone dies, some of the words you will hear to describe what happened are bereavement, grief and mourning.
Grief describes the feelings you may be having after the death of someone close to you, whether it is a member of your family, a friend or a pet.
Losing someone or something you care deeply for is one of the hardest things we have to face in our lives. It can be a confusing time and you may feel overwhelmed with all sorts of difficult emotions. It is important to know that everyone experiences and expresses their feelings to grief in different ways and there is no right or wrong way to do this. You could feel great sadness, relief, disbelief or you could feel frightened or numb. These emotions will express themselves in different ways. You may:
These feelings can be very painful to deal with on your own, so it is important that you try and talk to someone – a trusted adult, friend or you could call a helpline.
Mourning the loss of someone is not something that will go away overnight – you can’t escape these feelings, there is no quick fix, you just learn to accept what has happened and work your way through it.
“It’s such an unbelievably big moment in your life that it never leaves you, you just learn to deal with it.”
- Prince William and Harry talking about the death of their mother Princess Diana in BBC documentary Mind Over Marathon, April 2017.
In time it will get easier, there will always be good and bad days when you miss them but remember they would want you to be happy.
You could also speak to a school nurse for support and advice - they offer weekly confidential 'drop-ins' in secondary schools. Send a text to ChatHealth (07507 333356) or ask in school to find out more.
Just keeping problems bottled up isn't a long term fix but talking through things can really help. Kooth is a free, safe and confidential online service where you can find someone to talk to when you need it. You can read more in our information pages or visit their website www.kooth.com
The children and young people's Emotional Wellbeing Hub provides an online referral for support and a telephone helpline (0345 600 2090) if you are worried about you or a friend's emotional wellbeing and need advice.
Visit your GP. There is no difference between seeing your GP for physical health or emotional health issues, and they will be able to help you.
A memory jar is where you and your family can keep all your happy memories of your loved one in a safe place. Here’s how to create one - https://www.bbc.co.uk/newsround/39407116
Nelson’s Journey – Smiles and Tears app - features a visual diary, quotes and quick access to Childline support. Available to download via App Store and Google Play.
Child Bereavement UK app has been developed by a group of young people who have lost someone close to them.
The app is called 'Grief: Support for Young People', and is aimed at 11-25 year olds who have lost someone close to them. It offers information and support about grief and feelings, as well as stories and films from bereaved young people.
If you have an iPhone, you can download it in the App Store.
It can be difficult to know what to do for a friend who is grieving. In other situations when your friend is feeling down you may easily be able to cheer them up and reassure them that things will be ok, but when a friend is grieving this is not something you can fix or solve for them.
You may find they are acting differently, are ignoring, or distancing themselves from you – remember your friend is trying to deal with a lot of very painful feelings so don’t take it personally, but try and keep in touch to let them know you are there for them when they are ready.